Don Boniface (DB) and Ted Kuhar (TK)
DB: My partner had died of AIDS and I had gone through two very, very difficult years of mourning and being on my own.
TK: I was an aging man who was just out a few years. I came out at age 50. So I lived my life before then with friends and family and lots of love in my life, but I didn’t know what this kind of love was.
DB: Well, thank God a mutual friend introduced us. It wasn’t love at first sight, but there was some kind of a recognition.
TK: I invited you, Oh come on up to Vermont.
DB: And I said, I’ll be there, I’m staying 10 days.
TK: I was scared.
DB: He was scared.
TK: You arrived and I went over and shook hands, ”Hi, come on in.” I gave you a bedroom that was seven doors away.
DB: As far from his bedroom as possible.
TK: Three nights later, as I’m drying silverware, he said, ”Come on Ted. Get real.” So —
DB: We started long-distance dating. Ted would come and visit me in New Jersey —
TK: I remember you taking me around to meet the ladies at the bank and supermarket and I’m hanging on to you just —
DB: — Just holding me down to earth.
TK: But I loved it. I never had any kind of experience like that before in my life.
DB: Well, you were a real challenge for me because I knew that you had not been in a romantic relationship previously.
TK: I remember so well before you, I used to say, I have so much love in my heart and I want a person to come along who can have this love in my heart that could burst there’s so much of it.
DB: I could certainly see a lot of what was there, waiting to come out and it has paid off.
TK: When I met you you had been living with AIDS for 11 years, so the chances at that time of this going on much longer weren’t real great.
DB: I remember the time that we were in my living room. This was when you were still pretty frightened, and you looked me right in the eye and you said, ”You know, I won’t hang around for you if you get sick.” And that hasn’t been true at all. You were there for me and you would be there for me.
TK: You’re a part of me. For now and a good time to come.
DB: If I did die before you, I would hope that you would have — open to the possibility of another relationship.
TK: I can’t imagine.
DB: You know once you lose a partner, for me it became a real issue. And I’d hope that you felt something similar to what I felt. My life is worth sharing with somebody.
TK: A big difference between us is I have had one person in my life. That’s you. You’re it. And I love you so much.
DB: Love is what this is about. And that’s why there’s no question in my mind that the death of one of us will separate us and nothing else will come between.