INTRO:

Time now for StoryCorps…

Today – two lifelong friends sit down to remember their moms.

Grant Brenner and Ari Gildengers met in elementary school. It was the 1970s in New Jersey.… And they had a lot in common … except that Grant lost his mother to cancer when he was very young. 

Transcript:

Grant Brenner (GB) and Ari Gildengers (AG)

 GB: I was a shy little kid. I didn’t wanna separate from my mother. And she took me everywhere. I would go to restaurants with her, or, shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue.

But, I don’t really remember my mother very well. I have vague flashes of memories. Like her smoking a cigarette.

The most vivid memory I have is the last time I saw her.

AG: When was that?

GB: It was a morning, and she had to go to the hospital. I remember her standing in the hallway. My father and one of my brothers were holding her up because she couldn’t support her own weight. And her chemo wig was kind of askew. She insisted on wearing her favorite fur coat. She did not want to go to the hospital. I think she must have known this was it for her.

I was nine. And after my mother died, my father was like, ‘Your mom wrote letters for all of you. And here’s yours.’ I’ll read it to you if you want me to.

AG: Yeah.

GB: Ok…

‘Dear Grant. You are so little. I don’t know quite what to say to you. I wanted to have you with all my heart. My greatest joy in life would be to stay with you. We cannot always have what we want, so we must be content with what we have. I give you loves, hugs, and kisses for all the tomorrows. Have a good life. Love, Mother.’ 

It’s very sad. I wish it were a letter, but it’s more of a note. But, in some ways I think that note also carried me through.

AG: When she died, I remember my mom saying it at the dinner table, but I couldn’t really understand the kind of pain you were going through.

GB: You stuck with me though. 

AG: We would watch Dr. Who…

GB: Play Dungeons & Dragons… There were times where I really wished that I were in a different world.

AG: And my parents, they really enjoyed having you around. They joked that you were like my brother.

GB: Your mom was the closest thing I ever had to a second mom. 

AG: She died a year and a half ago. And, I really felt you understood. 

GB: I didn’t go to my mother’s funeral. I really regret that. And, I cried more at your mother’s funeral than I’ve ever cried in my whole life. 

AG: My mom really loved you. And, she wanted to make sure you were okay.

GB: Yeah, she did. 

BACK ANNOUNCE:

Grant Brenner and Ari Gildengers … remembering their mothers … Judith Horowitz and Esther Gildengers.  

Their recording is archived at the Library of Congress.