Mala Fernando (MF) and Ashanthi Gajaweera (AG)

MF: I got married on the day of my 22nd birthday. It was tough you know? Your father used to treat me like another little girl. I told him, I’m not your daughter. I’m your wife. Treat me like a wife. One day he asked me what would you do if I die? And I told, “Don’t talk about death.”

AG: Didn’t he joke around and say you should marry a wealthy mudalali which means seedy businessman?

MF: That’s right! That’s right! You should get married again, he told me. Oh no, I’m not going to get married again. Then after that he just…died about two weeks later.

AG: Gosh.

MF: He got a heart attack and he suddenly died.

AG: Yeah.

MF: And within that year I grew up so fast.

AG: Because you didn’t even know how to write a check before that.

MF: Yes, and I was so proud of myself. I found myself as a person, for the first time. That’s the beginning of my life. And then one day, you said, “Mommy, remember Daddy told you to get married? You will be living alone here once I go to college. It’s time that you get married.” So you looked into this newspaper we had…the marriage

MF/AG: Proposal section.

MF: Circled all these marriage proposals, “Mom this is a good one, this is a good one…” Then she called—

AG: One of those worked!

MF: One of those worked.

AG: Boy, we got lucky.

MF: Yeah, he was a widower, I was a widow…

AG: And I saw you fall head over heels in love with my stepfather.

MF: Yes.

AG: My loved stepfather.

MF: Mm-hmm. (Ashanthi laughs). I think for the first time I must say, that was the time I really felt, “this is how you fall in love.”

AG: And Gosh you have changed. Nobody would ever call you a little girl anymore.

MF: No.

AG: And you’re really a very independent, incredibly strong woman, I mean—

MF: Yeah.

AG: You’re my hero.

MF: Thank you.

AG: You’re my hero. In so many ways.