Asad Kerr-Giles (AKG) and April Kerr (AK)
AKG: We get to the precinct. They start telling me the things I’m charged with. Attempted murder charges, gang assault in the first, possession of firearms. So I’m getting hit with all these charges — I’m 17 — and I want to cry.
How was it when you first heard that I was incarcerated? Like, what was your first reaction?
AK: I almost had a stroke. And then I just felt helpless. I just prayed. What were the first few days like in jail?
AKG: It was terrifying. My first day they sent me to a place where all the newcomers to jail come. And I seen like a friend of mine that went to my school inside there, like, ‘Aww, man what you doing there?’ He started like tearing ‘cause he’s like, ‘Man, this not for you. I know you’re better than this.’ It felt like one big bad dream.
Every phone call, every letter, I was like, ‘I need to get out of here.’ I didn’t even want to live no more.
AK: I could just hear the despair in you.
AKG: You sent me a lot of letters. And then, um, every single letter like I would get it exactly at the right time. Just when I’m feeling down, I’d get a letter and then I’d read it probably like 10 times a day.
Court also was bad too because we actually see civilians walking. We see free people.
AK: Right.
AKG: And we all just on a truck like shackled up.
AK: Yeah, court days was bad because you used to be so enthused about coming home, and you’d be like, ‘I’m coming home today.’ Like, ‘This is it!’ And it took so long for it to be ‘it’. I can see by the way you move a little bit, still kind of like institutionalized, in some way.
AKG: Yeah, definitely.
AK: That’s probably why you have problems sleeping, huh?
AKG: Yeah, just ‘cause I woke up to searches…
AK: Right.
AKG: Or I wake up to the screaming…
AK: Right.
AKG: Somebody getting jumped. It basically made me like immune to violence, I could just see somebody get beat up and like not really feel scared. And like with the police, if a cop was like near me? I feel like he gonna take me. Even though I didn’t do nothing, I just feel like he going to take me. Just because I was innocent and they actually took me. It messed me up in, in that kind of way.
AK: I feel bad for you, because they left a mark that’s not your mark.
AKG: But it can’t like spiritually break me, I got a strong spirit.
AK: Right. I know your worth and I know how smart you are. I know you’re destined for greatness.
AKG: Thank you, Ma.
AK: I just want you to fly now. I really do.
