Patrice Ball (PB)

PB: In his profile he kinda had a dad bod, but I have a mom bod [laughs]. And when you look deeper in the eyes behind the expression, that’s where the handsome is. He had the warmest smile and really beautiful eyes … And he was very handsome. 

We talked every night on the phone. He was funny and sensitive. And he loved gardening.

As a single mom, I did not have time for gardening. I think it pained him to see the status of my backyard [laughs]. He was very kind about it, he never criticized me, but he did ask if he could plant things for me. Over time he did a little more and more in the yard to make it pretty. 

He often did things to show he cared without being asked.

But he was diagnosed with cancer eight years after we met. We married in his backyard garden … and … about nine weeks after we married, he passed away.

That winter, the house felt big and empty. You know, I didn’t feel much like Thanksgiving. I didn’t want a Christmas tree. That year felt gray and somber. 

That spring, one morning I realized, oh, there were little tulips popping up in the corner of my yard. They were a very rich, lovely purple. Byron knew that purple was my favorite color … so he planted those flowers. He knew he wouldn’t live to see them bloom.

I could not hold in the tears. Because with every ounce of my being, I knew that I was loved, that it didn’t die with him. He wanted me to know that.

I did take up gardening. When I’m in the garden, I have had a few tears, but mostly it’s joyful. I think that’s what Byron would’ve wanted. He understood that life goes on without him. And that’s okay.

He showed me beyond his grave that he loved me.