PJ Goetz and her son Sam

PJ Goetz and her son Sam

Interview transcript

SG: How did you meet dad?

PJ: Well, you know that my mom died when I was seven…

JG: Yeah

PJ: And you know that I was own when I was sixteen. So, what I did and what you get to do are going to be two different things, because…

JG: Right, because I always have someone looking out for me and that’s you dad,

PJ: That’s right…

JG: …and pretty much everybody else in our family…

PJ: So, I was eighteen-years-old, and I had a fake ID, and I was at this bar.

JG: You had a fake ID?

PJ: Um-hm. Oh my goodness I can’t believe I’m telling you this… And, um, I was sitting at this barstool, and your dad sat down. And I said to your dad, I said: ‘There’s somebody sitting there.’ And he said, ‘I don’t car, I just have to meet you.’ And he made me laugh, and that’s what I needed right then, was, I needed to laugh a little. We talked for about four hours, and then he walked me out to my car, but he never asked me for my phone number. And I got home that night, and I was writing in my diary, ‘very good looking but insecure’. The next day, I was on my couch watching some afternoon TV, folding laundry. And I had told dad what apartment complex I lived in, but I didn’t tell him what apartment or where I lived. So he drove into the apartment complex and just laid his hand on the horn. And he just was driving through the complex. And, I went out on my balcony, and I saw him, and I said, ‘ Oh my god, that’s that guy from the bar last night.’ And he was like, ‘Oh hi! There you are, I’ve been looking for you.’ And that’s the way he found me.

JG: What were the best times, the worst times in marriage, and did you ever think of getting divorced?

PJ: You know, over the years, I have thought about getting divorced, me and your dad were separated once for two years, but we got back together. And we never did get divorced; we came close a couple of times during that time. Uh…

JG: I remember you were like yelling, and you said, ‘Do you want me to leave with the children?’ I, I was like in my bed, and I heard that…

PJ: I’m sorry you had to hear that sweetie. Marriage isn’t always pretty. I think sometimes we act like little children, and we need to be more mature about it because its a privilege to be married to somebody, and you need not to disrespect it like that, like sometimes we get angry and we do. But, we’ve been together for twenty-three years now. And, I think your dad’s taught me the meaning of love. Love is as much a feeling as it is an action. You see what I’m saying?

PJ: I see what you’re saying.

JG: To love somebody is not just how you feel about them, but what you do also.