Jo Ann and Bob Chew

Jo Ann and Bob Chew

Interview transcript

JC: “My father said, If he sent me to college, that I could choose one of two things. He said you can choose home ec because I know you’ll be somebody’s wife, you’re too cute not to be somebody’s wife (laughs). Or number two, I could take up a secretarial course, ’cause you know, at that time there weren’t a lot of things that women did. So I decided the home ec was the way to go. I wanted to be somebody’s wife.

BC: Are you still cooking today?

JC: Not today. I have been up to this point, but I have Alzheimer’s, the beginning of it, and uh, so I hear, and my doctor told me he did not want me to cook. And that was music to my ears. (Laughs.)

BC: Oh, who is doing all of the cooking?

JC: This fella across from me here. He’s turned out to be quite a professional, too.

BC: So how did we meet?

JC: Somehow we got together and I don’t even remember how it was. I’m trying to think. I bet you remember. (Laughs.)

BC: Yeah, I remember. I’m shocked that you don’t remember.

JC: Oh, I do. I just, aw –

BC: Remember the Christmas parties?

JC: Oh, yeah. And that’s when we really got to know one another, wasn’t it. My heart began to beat a little faster after quite a few months and I think yours did too. Then we decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and we got married.

BC: Had you thought about remarrying?

JC: No, no no no no no.

BC: Why not?

JC: I just thought I was too old.

BC: Well, how old were you?

JC: I got to think. (Laughs.) How old was I? How old was I when we got married?

BC: (Whispering) Seventy.

JC: Seventy. And I kept trying to dissuade you from marrying me because I was older than you were. And I knew that there would come a time when I would be a little old lady and you would still have all the marks of a ten-year younger man. So here we are, still together, and I’m still 10 years older.

BC: Does that bother you today?

JC: No. It bothers me that I’m as I am. ‘Cause I don’t want to be a burden.

BC: You think you’re a burden?

JC: Not really, ’cause you need someone to take care of, don’t you.

BC: That’s what I tell you.

JC: (Sniffs.) I know.

BC: The diagnosis –

JC: — Is not pretty. No.

BC: Do you feel sorry for yourself today?

JC: Little bit. Little bit. Big bit.

BC: A big bit?

JC: I’m sad.

BC: What’s — what are the things that are making you sad?

JC: Just not having control of everything. My thoughts, and my actions. And I don’t think it’s fair to you, either.

BC: You know I want to take care of you, don’t you?

JC: I do know that, but you can have some cute little chick that you could be running around with, 10 years younger and –

BC: I know I have my princess right now.

JC: Oh, you’re wonderful.

BC: How would you say the diagnosis of your Alzheimer’s has affected us and our life?

JC: Outside of all the feelings I have stored up, we still do the same things we did before.

BC: Mmm hmmm.

JC: And we still can go to dances and we can do things. But I don’t want to be an ugly lady that’s not in her head.

BC: You’ll never be an ugly lady, sweetie.

JC: (Sniffs.)

BC: Uh uh.

JC: I just somehow didn’t think that this was going to be my way out. And I still hope that it’s not gonna to be.

BC: You know I still love you, right? More than ever?

JC: I know.