Granvilette Kestenbaum

Granvilette Kestenbaum

Interview transcript

GK: He fell on me at a party, and I thought he was the goofiest guy I had ever met in my life. He had these old stovepipe jeans on. And a pair of shoes, one of which had many, many, many rubber bands wrapped around it because the sole was coming apart (laughs.) Some weeks later, he called me. He said, ‘Hello this is Howie.’ And I said, ‘Howie who?’ He said, ‘Fine thank you. How are you?’ And I just thought, I can’t walk around with this guy (laughs.) So I wouldn’t date him. And uh, I lived in a girls residence on west eleventh street in the village. He would come down, sit on the steps, and, when I came out with a date, he would say, ‘Hi. How are you?’ And my date would say, ‘Who is that?’ I thought, this guy is really crazy. But, the lady who was in charge of the residence said, ‘Give him a date for god sakes. Get it over with.’ So I went out and I said, ‘I’ll date you.’ The next year we were married. And then for thirty-one years we were together.

Maybe six weeks before 9/11, he started asking me, ‘Do you love me honey?’ And I said, ‘You will always have my deep and abiding love.’ And I don’t know why I said that. I’m glad I did. That day, September eleventh, I got up with Howard at five o’clock in the morning. And for some reason we had a little tiff. He said when he left, ‘I love you.’ I was such a drama queen and I didn’t say it. But, I remember looking out of the bathroom window, he rounded that corner, and I never saw him again. People talk about closure. There is no closure when you lose a loved one. I don’t care how you lost them. The pain changes put it doesn’t go away. And, uh, I miss him like hell.