Jules Fishelman (JF) and Cathy Resmer (CR)
JF: You’re facing the sink and you’re washing dishes and we’re talking and there is a pause and then you ask, ”Would you like to be our sperm donor?” and I just… I have no idea what is going on. I felt completely warmed by even the question, but I never asked you how you even got to that point.
CR: Well Ann-Elise and I got joined in civil union in 2000. I had never thought about having kids until I was with Ann-Elise but I really wanted to have a known donor. If you’ve ever seen Star Wars, for example, you know that the whole trilogy is about Luke and his search for his father.
JF: You wanted to make sure that his father was not Darth Vader.
CR: I actually did, that was part of it.
JF: I appreciate that.
CR: I really just wanted my child to grow up not having to ask that question in that way. So then we thought, okay, so who are we going to ask, and you were the one on the list, you were the only one. The other reason that we picked you is that you’re the kind of person that we want them to grow into. You’re just so kind and gentle and we’re happy to have you as part of our lives.
JF: Thank you. It is amazing to hear you talk about that. I knew that when you asked me, you were asking for something so personal and so serious that simply being asked was an honor. But I didn’t know at the time that saying yes that you and Ann-Elise were going on a hunt to find me a good woman but you hooked me up with Rachel, and now we’ve had our first child. They won’t grow up in the same family, under the same roof, with the same rules but they’re going to be, hopefully, very close. It totally blows away the image of family but it is family nonetheless, and I love it.