CW: I met Dan, the true love of my life, in August of 1990, and about six weeks later this phone call came from my ex-husband, so I called Dan and said, "Hey my ex-husband says that he had tested positive for HIV what do you think?" And Dan's like you don't have HIV. Just go get tested. So I went out to the gynecologist and got tested and about three weeks later the doctor's office called me and said do you think you could come down and just give us some more blood and it'll only take a few minutes and we'll get you on your way. So they had me come in and I'll never forget that room, there is a waste paper basket on the floor, a box of Kleenex, and a glass of water on the desk. And the doctor said, "I just got to tell you that you're the first woman I ever had to say this to and I hope the very last. Your test came back positive for HIV."

I started shaking the minute she said the words to me. In fact she came over and held on to me for about five minutes because I was crying so hard. Then the next thought was, I got to tell Dan.

When he got diagnosed HIV positive he told me to knock off the guilt thing and that that's hard to take when you're the one who's dealt out the disease, but Dan's philosophy about life was that we only had this one to live and that no matter what this life was about we were going to live it to the fullest we could and even the days we were sick I don't ever remember those days being so fraught with illness that there wasn't something that we either smiled about or held between us.

He passed away the morning of December 26 of 2001 he...he promised he wouldn't die on Christmas cause he didn't want to mess Christmas up for us. You know falling in love does not save us from the bad things that can happen in the world. Yet, I don't believe I'm here because of anything less than his love for me. I miss him all the time.